Dating Life

I try to keep my dating life pretty private but today I am going to do a public vent. 


I found someone quite on accident over a year ago whom I found to be the perfect match for me; not perfect in any shape or form just someone I could ultimately be myself. Unfortunately timing is everything and he moved out of state. Tried for a little while to do the long distance thing but out of the blue he stopped talking to me. Some time later we strike up a conversation again just to see if we can continue a friendship if anything. I still have strong feelings for this person and now use him as the standard on whom I should be dating. I have expressed a desire to come to see him again to maybe rekindle some attachment where he goes to state he is seeing someone else. 


This throws me in a tizzy and a bit of a funk. A bad funk actually.

So in order to get myself out of that I started doing the online dating scene again. Not sure if I'm able to do another round of meet and greets ending in disappointment on either side. Mind you if it is a drinks meeting I try my best to get there early to buy my own drink so there isn't sense of obligation. I know I am older and wiser but why aren't things at least getting easier?

Is it so hard to find a best friend who you want to share your life with?

To top it off I have someone else that I cannot shake out of my system. This person doesn't always bring out the best of me and I usually end up being hurt more by him. Though for whatever reason I want this person around even knowing that this relationship is unhealthy.




Goodness, I have myself in a pickle.