Steampunk Christmas

We (as in I) told mom and dad that we needed to change the theme this year for Christmas.  So I came up with Steampunk and they are fully behind it.  There were a couple of fun nights of family crafting to change up boring ornaments and make them more personal.  And the bonus is that I will keep them for my own tree for the future.  Muhahaha!  Oh, sorry did that get revealed?  Hope you enjoy some of our creations.

Awkward

Why are holidays so awkward?

I posted on Facebook that being in your 30's, single during the holidays sucks.  I got lots of "enjoy it while it lasts" or "someone will come along" and occasionally "ditto".  I should have been a bit more specific when I was posting that thought.  Out of all my siblings I am the only single one which at the dining table or family functions makes me the odd man out.  To top it off I am the eldest so it seems like a bit of a blow to the ego when all of my younger siblings have someone they can bother on a daily basis.

Don't get me wrong, I love my life!  I have some awesome friends, my family  absolutely rocks, and when needed I have pillows to cuddle up to at night.  There is just something about this time of year that when you are single that makes public events uncomfortable.  Guess I just need to embrace the awkward.

2011 Family Pics

Punishment

I try my best to stay positive, happy, and to a degree non-personal about what is going on around me though lately it feels like I am being punished for crimes against friendship that I am pretty sure I didn't violate.  I am talking about incidents that happened years ago, though I am still the one being punished.

I just don't get it.  

I am the constant, the one that is always there, the one that will do anything for my friends, but I am the one being ignored.  Maybe it's because I don't flatter people's egos, I probably give too much and get taken advantage of which I am aware of.  (Also, been fighting a huge bout of loneliness lately since ending a previous relationship that looking back on I wasn't quite ready for).  Maybe I am reading too much into the non-actions of friends or maybe not.  Facebook can be an awesome thing and sometimes it can be very cruel.  Great if you want to torture yourself with "that could have been me" mentality.  I guess what I am trying to state it that I feel like Colonel Branden in Sense & Sensibility; always well thought of, has high regard, though no one actually wants around.

I know I was going to try to be more positive, but you can only hold so much before it spills out.  I really should go see a therapist.